A Supplication to the Divine through Evolving Self-Acceptance
Getting a Little Free Flow Up in Here: Originally written in April 2017 for my newsletter members, lightly re-edited here
going going going can be easier than staying still sometimes.
it’s often when we stop + rest that all the tears + unmet fears catch up, latch on, and spread.
can you hear the gentle haunting whisper that beckons me, to face this music now?
a meditative space clearing, a soul soothing release
a ridding of things perhaps never needed, certainly no longer needed now
cleaning, sorting, hanging, purging, releasing, regrouping, recomposing
i welcome what comes. i see out what goes.
overwhelm, work your way through me.
convulsive fluidity + angular untapped flow
the anger that comes in fleeting flashes
the resentment that lingers longer
the regret at taking so damn long
the embarrassment for what I’ve accepted
the discomfort at what I’ve done and have not
the mistreatment I’ve witnessed, experienced, doled out
all the names, insults, low blows and shame
all the more subtle, invasive ways confidences have been broken or twisted, bartered or sold
the blame I’ve placed and that’s been placed upon me
the responsibility I’ve given away and that which I’ve over-owned
the gossip, the behind back talking, the judgments, the snark
the ways I still need approval, hunger and yearn for it at times
the ways I let other people make their issues my issues, and the ways I leave them hanging
how much I want to be loved and how little I seem to want to, too
the hurt, all the deep buried hurt, that shows up as insecurity, self-doubt, selling myself short, and the forging and donning of the most artistically camouflaged armor
the ways I’ve given away my power, strength, beauty and soul
and the people who let me do it who I tiptoed around for too long
crushed shells fortify.
flatten your feet and FLY!
Soundtrack for the Writing + Perhaps the Receiving
Longtime Sun by Snataam Kaur. Thanks to my Aunt Diane and Jess Proulx of the Om Center for bringing this song
into my life so many years ago now!)
This song and video is sure to lift your spirits if’n they need some liftin’